


This Icy Force Both Foul and Fair

by MoonQueen17640



Category: Frozen (2013), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Frozen (2013) Fusion, F/M, Fili is Elsa, Frozen (2013) References, Frozen AU, Happy Ending, Kili is Anna, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn, Takes Place in Middle Earth, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-17 23:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1406272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonQueen17640/pseuds/MoonQueen17640
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Frozen AU) Ever since birth Fili has had the power to manipulate and create things out of snow and ice. But like so many things, there is a good side and a bad side to his abilities. In an effort to protect those he loves, Fili isolates himself, becoming separated from the one constant in his life, his brother Kili. When tragedy and heartbreak strike Erebor, Fili must learn to look past his fears and come into his own, or lose all that he worked so hard to protect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Frozen Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Okay. This is something I never thought I would find myself doing. This is going to be a multi-chaptered fic that follows the general plot and timeline of the movie Frozen. You can read this without having watched the movie, but there will be movie spoilers as it goes on. In the beginning of this story there will be more dialogue similarities to the movie but the exact dialogue will be more different as the fic progresses. The songs from the movie will be referenced in chapter titles, but only one will appear in it's entirety in the fic itself, and I'll alert readers as to when that will happen (probably the second chapter). Thank you so much for reading and for coming on this journey with me. This is my first multi-chaptered fic and one of the few forays I've made into dialogue, so please let me know your thoughts and feelings about it! This story and this movie are very near and dear to my heart, so thank you for giving it a chance!! Comments and kudos tell me that I'm doing a good thing, so please let me hear your thoughts!! I'm going to try for consistently quick updates, but there may be times when that doesn't happen... Enjoy!

“Fili!”

The whisper was blatantly audible in the quiet of the bedroom, the little dwarf’s voice echoing off of the surrounding walls. “Psst, Fili…Fili! Wake up!” A small brown head slowly made its way up from below the bed, Kili crawling up beside his brother and beginning to bounce on the elder’s body in an effort to wake him. “Kili… Go back to sleep,” came the sleep-garbled reply, the older dwarf rolling over and away from the pesky and insistent intruder. “But Fee…" The brunet whined, “I just can’t. The sky’s awake. So I’m awake, so we have to play!” “Go play by yourself.” Fili grumbled, curling into a ball in an attempt to dislodge his sibling.

With a well-placed kick, Fili sent Kili tumbling to the floor in a disgruntled mess of blue nightclothes and long dark hair. The brunet glanced dejectedly around the room, searching for some way to get Fili to play with him. With a wide smile the dwarfling hopped back onto his brother, Fili letting out a moan of annoyance at his return. Kili’s smirk read of childish amusement and he carefully lifted up his brother’s eyelid, gazing at the bright blue eye that he had revealed, “Do you want to build a snowman?”

Slowly Fili’s grimace became a grin, the elder immediately grabbing Kili’s hand and whisking him down the corridors of Erebor’s inner sanctum. The two young princes giggled as though sharing a secret, glancing at each other every so often and breaking into excited laughter once again. Their small pounding steps led them to an ballroom used mainly for showing off the great wealth of their home, the young dwarflings racing inside and tripping over their feet in excitement.

“Do the magic, do the magic!” Kili squealed, instantly enraptured as his brother’s hands suddenly unleashed a stream of snowflakes. Each one unique, each one beautiful, the snow was as bright as the brunet’s smile, snaking around him before gently landing in his dark locks. Fili smiled at his brother’s enthusiasm, suddenly catching Kili’s attention before stamping his foot, both watching as the floor of the ballroom was transformed into a sheet of ice, Kili slipping and sliding around the surface before finding his balance. Fili’s feet remained stable, almost as thought they had found some anchor of relatability in the sheer ice.

“This is amazing!” Kili shouted, leaping into the piles of snow that had sprouted from his brother’s fingertips. “Fee, come play with me!” Fili smiled at the brunet before crafting two snowballs, beckoning his brother over to them. “Look Kee, we can build a snowman.” Kili instantly began sculpting, his young features schooled in an expression of intense concentration as he shaped the snow into a circular ball. Fili meanwhile was crafting the head of the snowman, tracing a goofy expression onto the white surface. After putting the head on top of Kili’s body, the young dwarf revealed the creation to his brother with a flourish, “Hi, I’m Beorn and I like warm hugs,” the blond said in a deep voice, moving the snowman over the ice towards Kili. “I love you Beorn,” the little brunet replied, hugging the snow to his chest and squeezing his brother’s hand in delight.

Kili’s adventurous spirit soon made itself known, the dwarfling daringly jumping across the snow piles that Fili had created, “Catch me Fee!” he yelled. “I’ll always catch you, Kili” the blond murmured, a note of seriousness passing over his face. Fili pulled his white-blond hair back before raising his arms and tracking Kili’s movements, crafting a new snow bank each time his brother leapt. All too soon though, Kili’s movements outmatched his brother’s ability to keep up, “Catch me Fee, catch me!” the brunet giggled. “Slow down Kee!” the blond yelled, frantically trying to keep up with his sibling’s jumps. All of a sudden, Fili’s feet slipped on the ice below them, somehow betraying the easy confidence and control he had had over the surface earlier.

As he fell, the blond tried vainly to shoot out one last blast of snow, desperately trying to protect his little brother. Unfortunately, in the process, the icy jet missed its intended mark and landed on Kili’s head, the brunet instantly crumpling to the floor and not moving. “KILI!” Fili screamed, scrambling towards his brother. As the blond watched, a streak of white appeared in his brother’s raven tresses, making his face seem even more lifeless. “Uncle Bilbo, Uncle Thorin!” Fili sobbed out, clutching Kili’s body close to him and stroking his hair gently, “It’ll be okay Kee,” he murmured, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to catch you. I’m so sorry I broke my promise…”

Hurried footsteps sounded in the hallway outside the ballroom before the doors were burst open, Bilbo and Thorin rushing to the princes and slipping on the ice in their haste. “Fili, what have you done?! This is getting out of hand,” Thorin spoke harshly to his elder nephew, Fili curling in on himself in shame and fear, “I never meant to hurt Kee, I would never try to hurt him…” Bilbo grabbed Kili out of the blond’s tight hold, gasping after feeling his skin, “Thorin,” he murmured, “His skin is ice cold.” Thorin looked at his husband with an unreadable expression, eyes full of fear but set with determination. “I know where we have to go.” The king said quietly, bundling Kili up in his arms.

In a matter of minutes the family was mounted on horses, racing through the forests surrounding Erebor. Thorin had an ancient parchment map in his hands, frantically consulting it for directions to where they had to go. Fili rode with Bilbo, not having been trusted with holding his baby brother. That distrust bore into the blond as icily and heart wrenchingly as a betrayal. Kili had always been his to look after, his to protect, his to love. To not be seen as capable of caring for him made the young prince feel worthless and alone. In his anger and fear for his brother’s condition, Fili inadvertently created a stream of ice behind their horses, catching the gaze of a young blond and his white colt hidden in the trees nearby.

Finally the royal family ended up in a clearing surrounded by mossy rocks, Fili hiding in his uncle’s robes as he called for help. All at once the rocks seemed to come to life, vibrating and rocking towards them. The young blond let out a squeak of fright before the boulders uncurled to reveal small bumpy creatures with bright faces. “Trolls,” Fili murmured, smiling softly at them. A troll with wisdom seemingly as old as the earth itself, stepped forward slowly. He turned towards Fili before asking his uncles slowly, “Born with the powers, or cursed?” “Born, and they’re getting stronger,” Bilbo replied, stroking Fili’s hair anxiously. Beckoning for Kili, the troll leaned forward and touched the streak of white in the brunet’s hair, so similar in color to Fili’s own. “You are lucky in wasn’t his heart,” the troll told them, “The heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded." “Do what you must.” Thorin whispered, bringing Kili closer to the ancient creature. “I recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic to be safe." the creature told Fili gently, "But don’t worry; I’ll leave the fun. He will be okay.”

Fili frowned, gazing at his brother’s peaceful face. “But he won’t remember I have powers?” “It’s for the best, Fili,” Thorin told him softly. “There is beauty in your magic,” the troll began, turning to face the blond, “But also great danger.” Inside his head, Fili could see flashing images, he and Kili running through Erebor’s gardens and sliding down snowy slopes created by his own hand. Those images were then replaced by the ones of that day, Fili bringing harm to the one he loved most fiercely. The young dwarf gasped, wrapping himself in Bilbo’s robes again to try to hide from his fears. “You must learn to control it, Fili,” the troll told him softly, “Fear will be your greatest enemy.” “No.” Thorin interjected, “We’ll protect him. He can learn to control his powers, I’m sure of it. Until then, we’ll lock the gates, we’ll reduce the staff. We will limit his contact with people and keep his powers hidden from everyone… Including Kili.”

That night Fili lay curled in his bed, alone behind a closed door. For the first time he was without the comforting addition of his brother beside him, or the creak of the door as Kili slipped inside to hold him close. A tear slipped from the blond’s eyes, dripping down his cheek before being frozen into an icy drop and falling to the blankets. The world suddenly felt far too vast and far too cold without Kili to amuse him and keep him warm. Fili fell asleep slowly, not knowing that his plight was mirrored on the other side of the wall by his younger brother who felt as though a vital part of him was missing, but could not figure out what it was, or why it felt like an icy dagger was piercing his heart.


	2. Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Throughout pain and turmoil, Fili and Kili keep reaching out for each other, only to have circumstance and fear keep them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where I'll be incorporating the song lyrics from Frozen's "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" This won't be true for all the songs, but I thought it worked really well here. The song lyrics are in italics and are not part of the dialogue of the story, think of them as what goes unsaid between Fili and Kili. Also, at the beginning of this chapter, Fili is 8 and Kili is 5 (in human years, I'm not getting into dwarf years ;) ). As always, please let me know your thoughts and enjoy!

Outside Erebor’s walls, snow was lighting on ground, turning the once dusky and rock covered landscape into a reflective white playground. Kili sat in one of the small windows, his face pressed eagerly against the glass. Snow was a treasured rarity, and one that he had always loved. Somehow he felt peaceful when he was wrapped up in its cold embrace. Excited, Kili raced down Erebor’s hallways, dodging the few staff members that were doing various duties around the mountain, it seemed each day there were less and less people around to talk to.

His small feet took him to a blue and white door, one of the few painted surfaces in the entire kingdom. Instantly, his smile fell, staring at the door with an expression of longing and of slight inner fear. Slowly, Kili placed his knuckles against the door, taking a deep shuddering breath before rapping six times against its colored exterior.“Fili?”

_Do you want to build a snowman?_

_Come on let’s go and play._

When no response came from inside the room, Kili knocked again, leaning his head against the frame to try to see the shadowy outline of his beloved brother. “Fee?”

_I never see you anymore,_

_Come out the door,_

_It’s like you’ve gone away…_

Slowly the door creaked open, revealing a sliver of pale white light and the edges of Fili’s faint silhouette. “Fee!” Kili shouted happily, moving to open the door further, “No, Kili.” The blond told him quietly, “Uncle said that I can’t play with you anymore.” “But it’s so lonely out there without you!” the little brunet wailed, reaching for his brother’s hand. Fili took it after a moment of hesitation, stroking Kili’s knuckles in an effort to soothe him like he always had when they were younger. Kili tried not to shiver when he felt his brother’s hand, not wanting to frighten him away, even though it seemed that the frost outside the kingdom’s walls was also in Fili’s fingertips.

“Please come play with me, Fili,” Kili murmured, looking up into his big brother’s bright blue eyes, “It’s no fun going out in the snow without you. We used to do it all the time, we’d run, we’d have snowball fights, we’d make snowmen, I miss that…” Kili admitted quietly, turning to see a small tear leak out of Fili’s eyes. “I do too, Kee. You have no idea how much, but we just can’t. Uncle said it’s best for me to stay in my room. So that I don’t hurt you,” Fili looked beseechingly at his brother, pushing Kili’s dark locks out of his face.

_We used to be best buddies,_

_And now we’re not,_

_I_ _wish you would tell me why…_

“I know you’d never hurt me. I love you Fee. Even if we can’t play together,” Kili told him, clinging to Fili in a tight hug. Fili held his brother close, resting his head on Kili’s and inhaling the wonderfully pungent scent of pine, earth and something distinctly Kili. The brunet didn’t comment when he felt icy tears fall into his hair. “You should go now, Kili,” Fili muttered, detaching himself from their hug and retreating quickly back into his room. “But Fee…” Kili started, reaching out for his brother once more. “No, Kili. You can’t stay here. Go away.” Fili said firmly, closing the door in his brother’s face before curling up on the other side and sobbing freely as snowy winds swirled around him in his sadness.

_Do you want to build a snowman?_

_It doesn’t have to be a snowman_

_… Okay bye._

* * *

Fili sat by the windowsill, gazing longingly out at the beautiful expanse of land in front of Erebor. His heart was frolicking out there in the breeze with his beloved brother at his side, but at the thought of Kili, ice began to spread quickly around his fingers on the windowsill. With a sigh, Fili removed his hands and turned after hearing a knock from the door. He knew instantly it was one of his uncles, Kili almost never came to see him anymore, too afraid of the inevitable rejection that would follow. Mournful blue eyes looked up, gazing at Thorin with a sadness belying his age.

“Here, Fili,” Thorin murmured, holding out a pair of blue leather gloves, stiched intricately with colorful patterns. “They’ll help.” Fili reached forward, avoiding touching his uncle’s hands. No good had ever come from contact with another. The gloves felt smooth and silky, and yet strangely constrictive, upon trying the blond realized that he could barely produce a blast of icy wind, the gloves preventing him from unleashing his fears into snow.

He turned back to his uncle, a small smile on his normally unreadable face, “See?” Thorin asked quietly, moving forward and taking Fili’s gloved hands in his own, “Conceal it,” “Don’t feel it,” Fili replied, the mantra a part of his daily ritual now, “Don’t let it show,” they said together, Thorin giving his nephew a pat on his head before turning to leave. As he did so, his eyes clouded, sending one last look at Fili, so cold, so young, and so alone. The guilt gnawed deep inside of him, threatening to leak out. _Was the safety of the many truly worth stifling the life of the one?_

* * *

_Four years later…_

“Fili?” Kili called, rapping his knuckles against his brother’s door. No response came from inside, Kili slidding down the wall into a heap on the floor. “Well if you won’t talk to me, I’ll just sit here and talk to myself,” he told the wall, playing with the fraying ends of his tunic, “I’m really lonely, Fee,” he admitted quietly, “I miss all the fun we used to have.”

_Do you want to build a snowman?_

_Or ride our bikes around the hall?_

“Sometimes I can’t even remember it all, the flash of mischief in your eyes, the snowmen we used to build, the races we used to have. I’ve started to forget what your voice sounds like, Fee. I remember it always calmed me. Lately I’ve just been so bored. There’s no one my age that I can talk to, and Uncle Thorin and Uncle Bilbo can only listen for so long.”

_I think some company is overdue,_

_I’ve started talking to_

_The pictures on the walls_

“I remember certain things,” Kili continued, looking beseechingly at the door in hopes of it opening, “How your laugh always made me smile, how you were always there to talk to or to listen to me. No one understands me like you did, Fee. I don’t understand why you can’t come out and play…” Kili’s voice broke harshly, the brunet rubbing angrily at his smarting eyes.

_It gets a little lonely,_

_All these empty rooms,_

_Just watching the hours tick by_

A gong sounded from far off, drawing Kili out of his thoughts, “Well, that’s the dinner bell, I’d better go. I hope you were listening, Fee. I hope I see you soon. I love you…” Pressing a kiss to his hand and placing it on his brother’s door, Kili turned to leave, throwing one last sorrowful look at the still-closed entrance. “Bye Fee,” he whispered, trudging off slowly down the halls and trying to mask his sorrow behind the ghost of a falsified smile.

* * *

Fili stood in the corner of his room, shaking silently and staring with fear-filled wide eyes at his uncles. “I’m so scared… It’s getting stronger!” “Getting upset only makes it worse,” Bilbo told his nephew gently, reaching out to pull the blond into a loving embrace, “Don’t touch me!” Fili yelled, panic making his voice break as he backed away from his uncle’s out-stretched hand. “Please,” Fili whispered, “I don’t want to hurt you too…” Bilbo glanced at Thorin, worry and sadness reflected in his gaze. “We won’t touch you, Fili,” Bilbo told him, “Just always remember that we love you… And always will.”

Outside the door, Kili skidded past Fili’s door, stopping for only a second to send a look of longing at the painted surface before continuing on his way, feeling his brother’s absence like a dull ache in his heart.

* * *

_Nine years later…_

On the day of their departure, Thorin and Bilbo were busy preparing in their rooms, running over what they would need for the long ship ride to one of their trading partners. All of a sudden both were bowled over by an exuberant Kili. “See you in two weeks!” Kili yelled, kissing them both on the cheek. His face shown with a radiant joy that had been painfully absent the last few years, Thorin and Bilbo smiling gently at him, “Remember Kili, don’t upset your brother, and don’t let your enthusiasm get the better of you,” Thorin told him with a wink, ruffling Kili’s hair fondly. “I know…” Kili murmured, “But sometimes I miss how much fun we used to have with each other, I wish I knew why he just cut me out of his life…” “It was for the best, Kili,” Thorin quickly interrupted him, “He is very mentally fragile and your energy might have a detrimental impact on him. I’m sure he still loves and cares about you, though.”

Kili smiled sadly, “I wish I knew why…” he whispered, following his uncles to Erebor’s grand entrance where the two would be departing. Fili stood there, straight-backed and unsmiling, the image of proper presentation. Kili gaped at him, somewhere in between the snowmen and the arguments; his brother had grown up, no longer the isolated child of years ago. Now Fili stood tall and regal, though there was a nervous tremor to his posture that Kili wouldn’t have noticed if he didn’t know Fili as well as he did. His white-blond hair was braided back intricately, and when he bowed formally to his uncles, Kili could see rippling back muscles that spoke of many hours of training alone.

“Do you have to go?” Fili asked them quietly, his voice and its sadness and fear sending a flash of worry through Kili. “You’ll be fine, Fili,” Bilbo told him, remembering not to reach out to try to touch his elder nephew. Fili watched them leave with sad eyes before turning away and walking slowly back to his room, not even sparing Kili a glance.

* * *

The news came by letter, Kili’s eyes widening and then spilling tears of heart-break as he continued reading. “A tragic accident…. Horrible storm…. Lost at sea… No survivors,” the brunet’s sobs reverberated around the nearly-empty mountain, Kili curling up in a corner of his uncles’ room underneath a blanket that still smelled of their comforting scent.

Across the hall, Fili’s screams of anger were muffled by his gloved hands. The blond read the letter a second time through smarting eyes, sadness and fear overwhelming him before he could try to suppress them. All at once the room was coated in ice, extending upwards towards the ceiling with snowflakes suspended in midair, “Don’t feel, DON’T FEEL,” Fili shrieked, pounding his legs in fury. It felt as though he was dishonoring his uncles’ memories by letting his fear take over, but nothing he tried would stop the icy tears from falling down his face or prevent the vicious wind from picking up. He had never felt so helpless and alone before.

* * *

Kili went to his uncles’ funeral alone, tears streaming down his face as he listened to recounting of their lives. He had stood off to one side, hoping beyond hope that his brother would make an appearance, if only to honor their memories, but Fili was absent. Kili knew that he should know better than to wish for him to be there, but he still missed the steady presence of his brother beside him. He needed his strength and love more than ever without their uncles.

Later, Kili’s aimless steps brought him to the painted door, the brunet slowly bringing his knuckles up to the surface. He almost knocked, but stopped himself to take a deep breath before finally rapping against the paint. “Fili?” he called, his voice cracking harshly from pain and disuse.

_Please, I know you’re in there_

_People are asking where you’ve been_

“Fee, I’m so alone… I don’t know how to go on without them too… I feel like I’m losing everyone and no one is telling me what I did. Please talk to me, Fili. I’m so scared of being on my own. I need you now more than ever. Please, Fee… I love-“ his voice cracked again, Kili dragging his hand down the painted door to bring it up to his wet eyes. “You’re all I have left, Fili. Please open up, please let me in… Please don’t keep shutting me out…” “Do you want to build a snowman?” the brunet whispered sadly, remembering their closeness and the love they once shared. With one last sob, Kili turned away, trudging down the hall and covering his face with his mourning tunic to hide his tears.

_They say have courage_

_And I’m trying to,_

_I’m right out here for you,_

_Just let me in…_

_We only have each other,_

_It’s just you and me,_

_What are we gonna do?_

Inside the room, Fili lay crumpled on the other side of the door, pressing his palm against the surface as if seeking his brother’s touch. “Oh, Kili… Yes, I do…” he whispered, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for all of this.” As the blond turned away, the place where his hand had previously been turned to sheer ice, the perfect image of a lonely handprint standing out against the bleak surroundings.

_Do you want to build a snowman?_


	3. For the First Time in Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Fili's coronation day dawns, both brothers must learn to put the past and their fears behind them and look to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows the events from the end of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" to the end of "For the First Time in Forever." Fili is now 23 and Kili is 20 (in human years). If you have any questions, please let me know and I'll be happy to answer them. As always, comments and kudos are SO SO appreciated! I love to know what you think of the story! Enjoy...!

Fili’s coronation day was one of rushed festivities and energy, the peoples of Middle Earth flocking to Erebor from all walks of life. Hobbits who had made the long (and exceedingly adventurous adventure) in honor of the deceased King Consort ducked under the large feet of men who had traveled from Dale’s colorful marketplaces to celebrate the special day. Even the regal and untrustworthy elves of Mirkwood had come to see the spectacle, standing tall and poised as if judging the appearance of all those around them.

One elf stood off to the side, not walking with his kin. His platinum blond hair was tied up in an elaborate series of braids and he did not have the aura of superiority that most of his kind possessed. Beside him was a white horse, stately in bearing but with a noticeable twinkle in his kind eyes. The horse leaned into his master forcefully, knocking the elf off balance. “What do you want, Arod?” the blond asked, his lyrical voice with a note of playfulness. He looked at the animal expectantly, as though waiting for an answer, when none was forthcoming, he spoke for his horse, using a deep and silly tone, “Give me a snack,” he grumbled, smiling as the creature’s eyes lit up. “What’s the magic word, Arod?” the elf asked snidely, amused by the glint of frustration in the horse’s eyes, “Please…” he said, imitating Arod’s voice again.

With a chuckle, the blond grabbed a carrot out of his pocket, not normal Ereborean fare, but one that he had taken a shine to in the gardens of hobbits and men in his travels around Middle Earth. The elf handed the treat to his horse, admonishing him at the attempt to eat the whole thing, “Ah ah ah! Share…” after the creature took a decidedly smaller bite, the blond ate the rest, not caring about sharing with the pompous animal.

All around them there was the bustle of excited and nervous energy, everyone preparing for the opening of Erebor’s gates for the first time in what seemed like forever. Ever since the passing of the King and his Consort all those years ago, Erebor had taken on a position of isolation, shutting down its mines to the bare minimum staff and keeping the princes locked inside. Hardly any of the visiting guests even remembered what they looked like, just as Fili and Kili could barely remember what the other looked like.

On the other side of the crowd, the proud elves of Mirkwood stood gazing out at the walls of the mines that were once the crowned jewel of the east. Once they were alive with hammering and the roars of giant fires, but since Erebor’s isolation began, they stood silent and cold. The king of the elves stepped forward to glance further into their depths, Thranduil admiring and regretting their stony silence. “Once these mines were the greatest source of trade in this region,” he told his attendant quietly, “Once they were sources of mighty iron and the most beautiful of white gems and mithril. And so we shall make them be again. Surely the young and overwhelmed prince of Erebor will recognize the value that open trade relations with Mirkwood could present. We will have our gems once more.”

* * *

Inside Erebor’s walls, Kili slumbered on, oblivious to the energy and vitality outside the palace. He dreamt of a simpler time, of days spent with his brother and the glorious skip of his heart when Fili would press his lips against his forehead. “Prince Kili?” came the shout from outside his room, Kili sitting up groggily. His hair stuck out in every possible direction, knotted and frizzy and decidedly unfit for the day's activities. There was a crusting of drool on his cheek and he had to remove a section of hair from his mouth before replying, “… Yeah?” he called back, blinking slowly to try to bring the room into view, “Sorry to wake you, young master, but…” “No!” Kili interrupted, “You didn’t wake me,” he continued, stopping to yawn before continuing, “I’ve been up for hours…”

Slowly his head began to fall back towards the comfort of his pillow, Kili blinking back awake as he almost reached its surface, “Who is it?” he called out again, “Still me sir,” replied the guardsman, “It’s time to get ready, Prince Kili.” “Ready for what?” Kili asked, wracking his brains for what could be going on, “Your brother’s coronation, sir,” the guard told him. “My brother’s cornoration…” Kili slurred, starting to slump back down before the other dwarf’s words registered, the brunet jumping awake after they did. “It’s coronation day!” he yelled, throwing himself out of bed and running over to the royal blue and white brocaded tunic and coat that had been laid out for him. Running his fingers over the embroidery and beginning to try to tame his hair, Kili smiled, looking forward to the festivities and the promise of seeing his brother once again.

As the brunet flew out his door, still trying to finish the last of the braids in his silky hair, his excited smile drew similar expressions from all those he passed. The younger prince had always been the darling of the kingdom, kind, considerate and levelheaded, if reckless at times. It was a joy for all the staff and guests to see him so alive and vital on such an important day.

Kili’s racing feet quickly took him to the largest window in Erebor, gazing out dreamily at the crowd of creatures that had gathered to witness his brother’s coronation. Despite his constant desire to leave the walls of the palace and explore all of Middle Earth, a nagging voice had always stopped him, _“What right do you have to leave and enjoy yourself while your brother can never do the same?”_ the voice would ask him, Kili always cringing in shame and staying within the walls he knew so well. Though seeing the world was important, nothing could make him see reason like thoughts of his beloved brother. Today though, both princes would be able to step outside the gates and see all that there was to be seen. For the first time in his life, Kili would be free from guilt and shame and would be able to truly _live_.

In his excitement, Kili didn’t realize where his pounding steps were taking him until he ran straight into the hide of a horse, the brunet starting and stumbling before crashing into what felt like a small boat. He could have sworn he saw a flash of long red hair before his vision was obscured completely.

* * *

Inside his room, Fili stood in front of his dresser, wringing his hands nervously. He knew that as a part of his coronation ritual he would be required to take hold of the scepter and container of incense to signify his power and fairness as a ruler. Each time he tried to pick the items up without his gloves on, though, their smooth metal surfaces were instantly coated in shards of ice, Fili unable to control his nerves and fears. “Conceal… Don’t feel…” the blond whispered, squeezing his shaking hands tightly. He scrubbed his hands over his now bearded face, gazing at the portrait of his uncles that hung next to him. A steely look of determination passed over the young prince as he tried again, drawing strength from his uncles’ love and memory.

“Put on a show…!” he muttered, his vocal volume rising as he steadied himself for one last attempt. The blond’s fingers shook as he reached out for the scepter and the jar, Fili closing his eyes and imagining the bright smile of his younger brother to calm him down. When his blue eyes opened, to his amazement he saw that there were no shards of ice painting the polished items, Fili letting a small smile grace his features. He quickly put them down before pulling on his gloves once more. “Make one wrong move and everyone will know…” he thought sadly, before hiding his hands in their blue leather entrapments.

“But it’s only for today,” he reminded himself, looking through the small window in his room out at the bright sunny sky. He could do this. He could face his demons, he could conceal his powers and his emotions for one day, as long as he had his brother by his side. With thoughts of Kili bringing a brightness to his clear blue eyes, Fili slowly left his room for the first time in what felt like an eternity, giving a small smile to his uncles’ images before stepping out to meet his future.


	4. Meetings and Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is finally faced with his fears and regrets as he is crowned King of Erebor, though even his new power and control can't stop the aching of missed opportunities in his heart whenever he looks at his younger brother. Kili is confronted with new emotions and new faces as he endeavors to bridge the gap between the confusion and heartache of the past and where he wants his future to lead.

As Kili’s vision gradually came back into focus, he found himself staring into a pair of worried brown eyes. A beautiful elf was standing before him, long red hair tied up in a series of complicated braids around her head and wearing a green and brown tunic with what looked like a bow strapped to her back.

“I’m so sorry about this,” she murmured in a melodious voice, extending a hand out to the flustered dwarf, “I didn’t see you coming before it was too late.” “It’s fine,” Kili muttered, carefully sitting up with her help and becoming aware of his surroundings and the boat he seemed to have fallen into in his haste. “I’m okay,” he told her quickly, throwing her his most radiant smile in response to her fears. “Are you sure?” she asked carefully, eyes raking over his body as if checking for visible injuries. “Yeah, I’m great actually, really great…” Kili babbled, gazing shyly at her.

Her bearing was regal but she showed no signs of royalty, the only insignia on her clothing was one he recognized as captain of the guards from his experiences with elven traders and warriors. With Fili in his state of perennial isolation, much of the day-to-day duties of the kingdom had fallen to Kili to handle, the brunet smiling as the elf helped him to his feet.

She stood back a few paces before bowing curtly to him in formal greeting, “Tauriel of the Mirkwood Realm,” she introduced herself, Kili nodding in recognition. “Prince Kili of Erebor,” he responded, bowing more deeply and smiling sadly at the look of shock and awareness on her face. “P-prince? My lord, I am so sorry about all of this. I’ll be sure to cover any costs of damage to your clothing or anything else you might need…” Kili waved off her words, blushing heavily as he replied, “It’s fine. Nobody really recognizes me anyway. There was no way you could have known. Plus I’ve never been one for formalities. I figure I’m really not that different from everyone else, except with who I was born to. Now if I were Fili, you would have had a whole mess of problems to deal with…” Kili’s voice faded away, the brunet turning his head away from Tauriel slightly so as to mask the worry and sadness that had come over him at the thought of his brother.

Suddenly Kili was aware of a gentle palm against his face, turning back he saw Tauriel smiling gently at him. “I too know what it is like to lose a loved one to fear and grief. Though elves live for eternity, we are not immune to heartbreak and the effects of war and famine. Have hope, Kili, things always get better if you take each moment as it comes.” Kili listened intently to her words, entranced by the similarities between them, though she had professed having lost someone; she was still so beautiful and strong. He felt a flutter in his chest, not unlike the one he vaguely remembered feeling around his brother when they were younger.

Tauriel’s eyes brightened as Kili began to come back into himself, the red-haired archer stepping back towards her horse beside the docks and bowing again, “I’d like to formally apologize for accidentally tripping and failing to catch the Prince of Erebor, and for all the inconveniences I have and could have caused.” “It’s fine. Truly it is,” Kili told her again, “Like I said before, if it had been my brother it would have been a different story, but I’m not THAT prince, though I do accept your apology,” he added, sending her a quick wink and chuckling internally at her instant blush. “Lucky for you, it’s just me,” he said, smiling with a hint of sadness, again becoming the  young prince all alone in an empty mountain with nothing but cobbled together memories of better times for comfort.

“Just you?” Tauriel murmured quietly, raising her eyebrows and sending him an answering wink, smirking at his responding blush. From behind the two, the royal bells could be heard, signaling the start of the coronation ceremony. Kili started upon hearing their tolls, eyes widening in realization. “The bells… My brother’s coronation… I-I have to go. I should…” he stuttered, rushing forwards towards the mountain, turning just in time to give Tauriel a smile and a quick wave and to see her reply in turn, the smile not leaving the young prince’s face as he ran in search of his brother.

* * *

_Later – At the Coronation_

Fili stood before the gathered masses, trying to control his unsteady breathing and quell his shaking hands. He glanced over at his younger brother in time to see him give a happy wave to a red-haired elf in the crowd, Kili looking happier than he had been in a long time. Fili couldn’t help the little sting of jealousy that radiated through him, and the pang of sadness that he had not been able to be the one to make his baby brother smile. He had only ever been the one to bring tears to those beautiful brown eyes.

Turning his attention back to Balin, the master of ceremonies, Fili took the deepest breath he could, the Khuzdul singing reverberating around the chamber signifying the beginning of the ceremony. As he waited for Balin to speak, the blond risked another quick glance at his brother. Kili looked radiant, his long brown hair whisked back with several small side braids, but left otherwise untamed and flowing. He was wearing a light royal blue tunic with embroidery signifying his stature and lineage. Fili felt a stab of grief and longing, somewhere along the road of heartbreak and loneliness; his baby brother had grown up into this handsome creature before him. _“And you missed it,”_ he thought bitterly to himself, only wrenching his gaze away from Kili when Balin began reciting the necessary ancient texts and rites of ruling.

All too soon, Fili was being faced with the scepter and the jar of incense, a cold sweat breaking out over his pale skin as he reached out to take them with shaking hands. He was quickly stopped by Balin’s gentle prodding, “Your Majesty, the gloves,” he whispered, Fili nodding slowly and regretfully pulling off his safety net, piece by piece. The blond looked to his side briefly, seeing Kili’s proud and reassuring, if slightly confused smile, Fili exhaling softly before grasping the worn metal in his hands. “Free peoples of Middle Earth, it gives me great honor to present, King Fili of Erebor,” Balin announced, the crowd instantly cheering and applauding the new king. Fili looked down quickly, his blue eyes widening as he saw the beginnings of ice crystals forming jaggedly on the edges of the scepter and jar. As rapidly as he could, the blond threw them back down onto the pillow, pulling his gloves on before facing the crowd with a sigh of relief.

As he turned to his brother, he saw a true smile of happiness spread across Kili’s face, the brunet giving him an _I told you so_ look before awkwardly meeting Fili’s eyes and averting his own quickly to face the crowd once more. Fili smiled softly to himself as he stepped forward, instantly being swept up by the enthusiastic guests. His eyes met Kili’s once more as he was led out of the hall, Fili trying to convey his love and devotion as well as countless apologies in his blue-eyed gaze. He thought he saw something flash over his brother’s face, something akin to longing, before the moment was broken and Kili vanished from his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment if you can to let me know what you thought about it! :) <3


	5. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili come face to face and must relearn how to interact with each other amidst their new responsibilities and the constant threats from neighboring kingdoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait for the update! I try to keep them coming as quickly as I can, but some weeks are more crazy than others. That being said, enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!! :) <3

Inside the ballroom the crowd had gathered, all waiting contentedly for the introduction of the newly crowned King and his brother. Kili stood off to the side, smiling as the horns heralded his brother’s entrance. In this setting Fili looked every inch of his status, presenting himself with the regal bearing of one far older and more experienced. Kili felt a flash of pride, gazing at the way the light glinted off of Fili’s stunning golden hair. As he got lost in thought he neglected to hear the second exclamation of the horns, only coming back to himself when Balin pushed him forward next to his brother as he was loudly introduced to the assembled masses.

Kili blushed furiously, quickly stumbling away from Fili so that his crisp and cool scent was no longer so tantalizingly close by. “Prince Kili,” came Balin’s whisper, “You must stand closer to your brother. The people must see you standing strong together.” Kili ducked his head in embaressment, slowly slinking back to stand beside Fili. “Hey,” Fili murmured, turning his bright blue eyes on his brother. Kili glanced around, searching for who the blond could be talking to. “Hey me?” he asked slowly, eyes widening at Fili’s amused nod. “Oh! Um… Hi?” Fili stifled a chuckle, turning appraising eyes on the brunet. “You look quite handsome, Kili.” He said with a slight blush, averting his eyes from the startled brown ones. “Thank you…” Kili murmured, raking his eyes over his brother’s form.

Fili was stunning. Understated and radiant, his white-blond hair was intricately braided and the similarly braided mustache that Kili had never seen before simply added to his appearance. “You look wonderful as well,” the brunet mumbled, daring to look into Fili’s eyes and seeing recognition and amusement in the cerulean depths. “We used to play here,” Fili began cautiously, watching his brother for signs of how much he remembered, “During the winter months. We used to hide here from Uncle Thorin and Uncle Bilbo…” “I remember.” Kili told him, smiling at the memories that floated through his mind. “We used to build a fire in that fireplace over there and tell stories all night long.” A flash of something akin to pain and longing passed over Fili’s face. Of course, it had been too much to hope that Kili would remember what they truly had been doing. He should have known better than to hope after all these years. Hope had never brought him anything but heartache and heartbreak.

Kili could see his brother closing himself off again, the brunet desperately trying to think of something that would keep Fili present and engaged with him. Suddenly a smell assailed his nose and he smiled knowingly, “Do you smell that, Fili?” he asked slyly, watching as his brother’s eyes lit up, “Chocolate!” they both exclaimed simultaneously, laughing at their perfect synchronicity. Kili looked at Fili again, smiling at the joy now present on his face. There was so much that he wanted to say, and had wanted to say to him for so long, that Kili’s brain struggled to find where to begin. Just as he reached some semblance of an idea, he was cut short by the appearance of Balin, the advisor revealing one of the guests with a flourish, “Your Majesties, may I present, King Thranduil of the Mirkwood realm.”

Both siblings’ eyes widened at the announcement, Fili instantly straightening up and letting his smile fade into a look of cool calculation, slipping back into the kingly persona he had been forced to adopt from so young an age. “Your Majesty,” Fili said with a small smile, “It is an honor to have you in attendance tonight. Your support means much to our kingdom.” King Thranduil’s icy gaze chilled Kili down to the bone, the young prince unconsciously shifting closer to his brother to try to escape his glare. “Your Majesty,” the elf king sneered, “As Erebor’s closest training partner, let me extend my deepest congratulations on your coronation and my deepest condolences on the deaths of your uncles.” There was a glint of something almost feral in his eyes, Fili steeling himself to show his power, “King Thranduil, your words are much appreciated. Perhaps if you have more to say, we could speak of it in a more private setting?”

Kili’s eyes snapped up at his brother’s words, disbelief written all over his face. He couldn’t believe that his brother would doubt him so much as to think him incapable of behaving around nobility. Then the brunet noticed the look of contempt and thinly veiled fury on Fili’s face. _“He’s trying to protect me,”_ Kili realized, trying to send an appreciative smile back to his brother who was stepping off to the side with the elf king, his eyes shooting daggers into Thranduil’s back.

“Prince Kili?” came a murmur from next to Kili’s ear. The young dwarf turned to see Tauriel standing before him, a small smile on her face. “My apologies for my king’s actions,” she mumbled, “Thranduil is wise but spends far too much time amongst his treasure and not enough time amongst his people. He does not know what he speaks of.” Kili smiled gently at her, “It is no matter. I’m sure my brother will be able to deal with whatever he tries to throw our way.” Tauriel laughed softly, reaching out a hand to the brunet. “May I offer the prince his first dance of the evening?” Kili’s grin seemed to stretch for miles as he accepted the offer, the two instantly being swept up by the other twirling dancers.

Off to the side of the ballroom Fili was still engaged with Thranduil, the elf king’s commanding presence and harsh words making the blond shake with anger. “I’m sure I can appeal to your sense as a king,” the elf sneered icily, “and convince you to reopen the mines. Too long have they been cold and empty. I’m sure you do not wish for your elven trading partners to lack resources necessary to their survival?” Fili turned to face the elf, fury written in every line of his face, “King Thranduil,” he bit out, “The jewels you desire would never see the light of day in your kingdom. You speak as though you represent your people, and yet you would covet the gems for yourself. You insult my uncles’ memory and you disgrace my rights and power as a ruler. You have no place amongst these people you profess to care for. The mines will remain closed until I see it fit for them to be opened. And if they are, I will ensure that their wealth goes to the people you seem to have forgotten in your blind greed. Too long have you lived in the shadows of the world. It is time you faced the light. Good day to you, your Majesty.”

Still fuming, Fili stalked away, leaving the elf king gazing after him with something akin to measured and reluctant respect. The blond glanced around for his brother, longing to speak more with him, until he spotted him dancing and chatting happily with the red-haired elf he had been with earlier. Suddenly Fili felt a pang of something deep within him, a pain unlike any he had ever seen before. Sighing, the young king curled in on himself before going to stand in the shadows and ponder the sharp pain that seemed to eat deeper into him the longer he stared at his brother’s gentle smile and easy touches with the elf. He did not know that Kili’s laughing eyes sought him out and that the brunet prince felt the same stab of longing when he could not find his beloved brother’s form.


	6. Love is an Open Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One brother is in love, the other is destroyed by grief. Both desperate for closeness and both left broken and confused in the wake of miscommunication and isolation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really pleased with the way this chapter turned out! Please let me know your thoughts and enjoy!

Kili took in a deep breath, letting the cool fresh air outside the palace wash over him. Next to him Tauriel stood serenely, gazing out at the twinkling stars and smiling peacefully. “Beautiful, aren’t they?” She asked quietly, brushing her fingers lightly over his as the prince moved to stand beside her. “They are.” Kili agreed, turning his face up to reflect their radiant light. “I had almost forgotten what they looked like in person. There’s something so different between seeing them like this and seeing them through a window. I always thought it was a cold light, remote and far away,” he mused, remembering how many nights he had spent curled up outside his brother’s door with nothing but his own rhythmic sobbing and the impersonal and distant light of the stars to keep him company. “Oh, but it is memory, precious and pure!” Tauriel exclaimed, turning to face Kili with a smile of pure joy, “I have walked there sometimes, beyond the forest and up into the night. I have seen the world fall away and the white light forever fill the air.”

Kili listened to her, trying to imagine the remote concept of immortality. He had heard tales that elves lived forever, but with the almost childlike excitement that Tauriel exuded at every turn, he couldn’t imagine her festering away the years like her king. Her beauty was matched only by her enthusiasm, and suddenly for the first time in his memory, Kili was no longer consumed with worry and responsibility. He could finally cast off the mantle of who he was meant to be and simply exist and love as he had always dreamed of being able to do. Where the star’s beauty was distant and untouchable, Tauriel was real and tangible in a way that no one in his life had ever been. Gently, he reached out to tangle their fingers together, feeling a surge of confidence when her digits wrapped tenderly around his.

“You need not fear, Kili,” she murmured, the starlight forming a glowing silhouette around her lithe form, “I will not abandon you as your brother has.” “And I will not overlook you as your king has done,” Kili told her quietly, watching as a flash of old hurt flickered across her features. “Together we can see the world as no others ever had,” he whispered excitedly, grinning at her look of happiness. “Can I say something crazy?” he asked her, tilting his head up so that their eyes met, “Will you marry me, Tauriel?” Tauriel let out a small gasp, her eyes widening before she reached down to entwine their fingers once more, “Can I say something even crazier, Prince Kili?” at his nervous nod she reached forward to cup his cheek gently with her hand, “Yes.” She whispered before leaning down to capture his lips with hers, invigorating the brunet with the taste of starlight and heartfelt promises.

* * *

Fili was still searching vainly for his brother amongst the swirling coats and laughing guests when he saw Kili and the elf he had been with earlier coming in through the door. He smiled as the brunet approached, turning to greet him and giving the elf a nod, hoping he could speak to his brother in private soon. “Fili,” Kili greeted him, slightly out of breath and with a shining smile, “May I present to you, Tauriel of the Mirkwood Realm,” Tauriel curtseyed in recognition before straightening up as Fili greeted her with a nod and a curt bow. “We would like your blessing,” Kili stammered excitedly, turning to Tauriel to finish his statement, “Of our marriage,” the elf finished, smiling serenely at the king.

Instantly Fili felt his world crash around him. In his mind’s eye he could see the smiling young brunet who so idolized him, the little brother he would give kisses to to help him sleep, the young child who had always looked to him for guidance and love. In that moment, all was lost. Kili had been his life, his world, his love, his everything. With a sickening twist in his stomach he noticed that their hands were intertwined between them and that they shared the absorbed glances of those in love.

“No.” Was the word that came instantly from Fili’s mouth, the blond trying to conceal all the turbulence inside of him as he had had to do for so many years. Though inside he was falling to pieces, he stood firmly as a monarch before his subjects. “No one is getting married.” Fili’s stomach lurched as he saw his brother’s face fall. “What?” Kili whispered, staring at the blond in utter betrayl and disbelief. “Kili, may I talk to you, alone?” Fili begged, searching his brother’s eyes for some hope, “No.” Kili stated, moving back to Tauriel’s side. “Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to Tauriel as well.”

“As you wish,” Fili murmured sadly, raising his eyes to face Kili’s soulful brown ones. “Kili, you cannot marry someone you just met.” “You can if it’s true love. If it has been shown in the stars.” Kili protested, turning to Tauriel for support. “Kili, what do you know about true love?” Fili asked him sadly, “More than you!” Kili burst out, “All you know is how to shut people out. Where there used to be such love in your heart, now there’s nothing but ice and hate!” “Kili. You asked for my blessing and my answer is no.” Fili told him firmly; though inside he was losing what small grip he had once had on his emotions. He could feel the cold energy coursing through his fingertips no matter how fiercely he told himself to not feel.

With effort and regret Fili turned away from the couple, walking swiftly towards the guard stationed at the gate. “The party is over, close the gates,” he told them sharply, watching with sick satisfaction, as the guests were lead out despite their ardent and confused protests. “No, wait!” Kili cried, rushing over to his brother and pulling desperately at his hand, accidentally removing one of his gloves in the process. “Kili, give me my glove!” Fili yelled, reaching blindly for it as he felt the darkness rising up inside of his body and threatening to consume him. “Fili please,” Kili begged, raising his eyes to his brother’s, “I can’t live like this anymore.” “Then leave,” Fili told him, though his voice began to shake with fear, anger and loss.

“What did I ever do to you?” Kili asked heartbrokenly, gazing at his brother’s retreating form. “Enough, Kili.” Fili begged, willing himself to not look at his beautiful brother’s sadness that he had once again caused in his sick obsession. “No. Why? Why do you shut me out?! Why do you shut the world out?! What are you so afraid of?” Kili yelled, desperate to break through Fili’s icy façade.

“I said, ENOUGH!” Fili screamed, turning around to face his brother and flinching back in shock and horror as icy spikes shot from his hands to the sides of the room where guests were still in the process of leaving.

Kili stood shocked in the middle of the room, staring at Fili’s disappearing figure. “Fili?” he whispered, reaching out blindly for the touch that had always comforted him as a child and being met with nothing but residual icy wind left over from his brother’s anger.

* * *

Outside the kingdom, Fili stumbled up towards the lonely silhouettes of the Misty Mountains. He had betrayed the one person he had ever loved. He had hurt his Kili, the one thing he had promised to never again do. The blond felt the rising fear and hatred well up inside him once more, but for the first time did not fight it as the tears began to fall, seeing his brother’s heartbroken face behind his frozen lashes.


	7. Let it Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Fili retreats to the isolation of the mountains Kili has to try to keep the kingdom together, even while he is falling to pieces with guilt and loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My teachers seem to have no mercy when it comes to assigning homework at the end of the year -.- I'll try to keep this going on a regular basis as much as I can. Please let me know what you think :) <3

Kili and Tauriel stood side-by-side, staring out at the frozen fjord before them. Fili’s hurried escape had left in his wake a trail of ice and snow that had coated every surface in sight. A small pinprick of a moving white speck was all that could be seen of the blond, and every step that took him further away from Erebor sent an icy dagger through Kili’s heart.

“Did you know?” Tauriel asked quietly, staring out at the frosted lake and watching Fili’s progress towards the mountains. “No.” Kili whispered sadly, turning to bury his face in the elf’s soft leather tunic. “Are you alrihgt, Kili?” Tauriel asked him softly, reaching down to tilt his tear-stained face upwards. “No,” the prince choked out, stumbling away from her and towards the confused and worried crowd that had gathered near him. In the center he could see Thranduil’s ethereal presence and it made Kili’s heart clench in anger and betrayal.

“Prince Kili, I had thought that this was to be a celebration, and not a display of power. If you so desperately wanted to prove Erebor’s strength, surely the opening of the mines would better serve that purpose than calling upon your brother’s wicked powers to do the job for you. Is there dark magic in you as well?” “No. There isn’t.” Kili ground out, clenching his hands so forcefully that his knuckles were tinged with white. “This was not a display of power, Thranduil. This was my brother feeling so scared and so trapped that he had no other choice but to try to escape in the only way he knew how. Now I had no idea that he was capable of such things, but it is not my place, nor is it any of yours to judge him for what he felt pressured to do. Now please everyone, go home, there is nothing more to see here. We will deal with the situation as necessity dictates.”

Tauriel stood resolutely beside the dwarf prince, lifting her chin in a show of defiance as Thranduil swept out beside her, turning to direct a narrow-eyed gaze at her stance and her company. Without a word, the elf king left, leaving the elf and dwarf alone. As soon as the last guest had left, Kili crumpled to the floor, tears streaming silently down his face. “What could I have done, Taureil?” he asked quietly, “Why wouldn’t he talk to me…?” “Kili,” Tauriel murmured, reaching down to hold him close to her chest, “You musn’t let your guilt rule your thoughts and actions. Fili did what he thought best to protect you. Now it is your duty to protect him.” “I need to go,” Kili told her, his eyes steeling over with purpose, “I need to make sure he’s safe and bring him home.” “Are you sure he won’t hurt you, Kili?” Tauriel asked warily, remembering the blast of ice that had shot from the blond’s fingertips.” “He’s my brother,” Kili told her firmly, “He would never hurt me.”

Tauriel smiled sadly, “I understand. I will do my best to rule well in your absence.” Kili looked at her with admiration, silently thanking her for her love and support through his eyes as words failed him. He pressed one quick kiss to her lips before hurrying out to the fjord and ordering for his horse to be brought to him despite the protests of his guards. Tauriel watched the small dark figure become smaller and smaller on the horizon before turning to the staff awaiting orders and delegating the dividing of warm food and clothing for the people of Erebor.

* * *

High above the Lonely Mountain, Fili was finally slowing his pace, the blond turning to glace at the shimmering lights from below and feeling sadness sweep over him. He could never go back. He knew that. If he were to return friends and enemies alike, all looking for answers about his powers would hound him for answers he didn’t have. He could imagine Thranduil’s sneer and the look of horror on Kili’s face if he were to lose his fragile control again. No. He couldn’t do that to Kili. It would be far better to hide away and be forgotten than to risk losing everything all over again.

His path brought him up to a snowy back, the surface completely empty of stones and boulders, the blond smiling softly at the sight. As he stared at the bank he could see a castle in his mind’s eye, one made entirely out of crystalline ice, an apt replacement for the kingdom below that he could never rule over again. Quickly Fili set to work, effortlessly crafting turrets and spires with a flick of his wrist and raising floors with a simple rising of his arms. As he worked, the blond was able to throw aside his memories, throw aside the years of hurt and the years of isolation and pain and see the true beauty in his abilities that no one had ever bothered to help him see. This castle would be his, a monument to letting go of his fears, and a tribute to not being forced to hide his true nature from everyone he encountered. With a joyous shout, Fili took off his remaining glove and hurled it into the air, spinning happily around and watching it catch the icy breeze and float far away. With another flip of his hands he formed the snowman that he and Kili had played with as dwarflings, laughing as it opened its eyes and began to smile at him.

With a grin on his face so wide that it was straining his muscles out of disuse, Fili created a crystal staircase, gently setting foot on it and watching in delight as his steps extended the slippery surface further into the castle’s walls and floors. As he stepped further into his new kingdom, the blond stopped to throw his cape to the wind, carefully crafting an intricate new outfit around himself that seemed to harness the very essence of the snow and ice into its every inch. With one final release of the memories of the past, the young king plucked his crown from his white-blond hair and hurled it into the icy night air, watching it fall to the ground far below with a nod of satisfaction. Fili turned around his new home with his arms outstretched, embracing the freedom that he had created for himself. A flick of his wrists brought the heavy ice doors to a slamming close behind him, firmly shutting the past out forever. He had let go, once and for all.

* * *

Far below, Kili struggle through the deep snow, stopping every few feet to blow on his hands in a vain attempt to keep their circulation going. He kept shooting glances up to the mountain where he had last seen Fili to remind himself of why he was putting his body through such misery. He thought he could see some sort of activity on the face of the peak, but he couldn’t be sure as the snow kept whipping through his vision and obscuring his sight. It was only the memory of the fear in Fili’s eyes that kept him going, and the thought of being able to reassure his brother that everything would be all right, even if he doubted the truth of his own words.


	8. First Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili continues on his journey to find his brother, and encounters some strangers along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is still invested in this story and I'm so sorry for the long wait! I wanted to focus on school and on finals before continuing, and now that it's summer I'll have much more time to crank out these chapters! Thank you for the support and enjoy this slightly longer chapter! :)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to the lovely BrandwinsArcher (go check her out her writing is amazing) for always commenting and encouraging me with my writing and this story in particular. You're the best <3

Kili continued trudging through the deep snow; the only discernable sound in the gathering darkness was that of his teeth clacking together in the cold night air. “Fee?” he called out to the darkness, wincing at how pitiful his voice sounded. “Fili? It’s me; it’s Kili, your brother who didn’t mean to make you freeze the summer. I’m so sorry Fee, it’s all my f-f-ault…” the brunet stopped speaking in favor of shivering, feeling the icy cold bite into the patches of exposed skin that his summer-weight clothing was unable to cover.

He continued moving up towards the mountains, glancing up every so often as he thought he saw movement up on the peaks out of the corner of his eyes. Kili could feel his horse shivering below him and when he suddenly heard the snap of a twig from somewhere behind them, he was unsurprised that the horse bolted out from underneath him, leaving him facedown in the frozen snow. “Stupid animal,” Kili muttered, curling in on himself to try and preserver as much heat as he could.

As he glanced up, Kili thought he saw a glint of smoke in the otherwise white landscape, the brunet dwarf hurriedly making his way towards it, hoping for a respite from the cold. It turned out to be emitted from a chimney and Kili raced towards the building as quickly as his frozen feet could carry him. In his haste, Kili hadn’t seen the icy stream in front of him until he was sent tumbling down into its sluggish current. As soon as he emerged, spluttering and splashing, his clothing instantly froze in the temperature change. Kili cursed as his shivering began again in earnest, and he resumed his quest towards the building with a good deal more grumbling than before.

The building turned out to be a trading post if the “Wandering Bombur’s Trading Post and Sauna” sign was anything to go on. As Kili pushed open the door, he was met by a wonderful gush of warm air and a wide smile from the equally wide dwarf behind the wooden counter.

“Hoo hoo!” the dwarf, Bombur, Kili’s mind supplied, called out happily. “Big summer blowout, half off swimsuits, clogs, and a sun balm of my own invention, yah?”

“Uh, hi?” Kili replied tentatively, making his way slowly over to him. “Do you happen to have any winter coats, or tunics?”

The other dwarf deflated slightly, turning to gesture to a small and significantly depleted section of the room, “That would be in our winter department.”

Kili went over to it, to find only a thick woolen tunic, a fur coat, a pair of heavy winter boots and a pick ax. He picked up the clothes before turning back to Bombur, a questioning look on his face, “You didn’t happen to see another young dwarf, I don’t know, the King perhaps, pass through here?”

“The only one crazy enough to go out in this storm is you, sir,” Bombur told him gently as he began working out a price for the items Kili had chosen.  
Almost as soon as Bombur had finished speaking, the door to the trading post was swept open, and a gust of icy cold air heralded the entrance of a very tall figure wrapped up in layers of fabric that covered most of his body and face. “Well you and this fellow,” Bombur amended, turning to face the newcomer,

“Hoo hoo, big summer blowout!” he repeated with a grin. The stranger however seemed to only have eyes for Kili, and began moving noisily towards the wary dwarf.

“Carrots.” He said simply when he stood close enough to Kili to be able to see the snowflakes in his hair.

“What?” Kili asked confusedly, looking up at the visitor blankly.

“Behind you.” Came the exasperated and muffled reply before a hand roughly moved Kili to the side and reached behind him to grab at the bunch of carrots below the counter.

“Oh right, excuse me,” Kili mumbled, hurriedly jumping out of the way.

The stranger continued to move around the store, grabbing miscellaneous items from here and there, and though he kept all of his layers on, one piece of fabric fell away from his head, revealing delicately pointed ears.

“An elf,” Kili murmured to himself, looking at the visitor with renewed interest. He had always been fascinated by elves and their unique traits, so unlike any other creature in Middle Earth. His thoughts quickly went to Tauriel and he felt a flinch of longing deep in his chest for the elf he had grown to love.

“A real howler in July, yah?” Bombur was addressing the stranger, “Wherever could it be coming from?”

“The Misty Mountains,” came the deep reply, Kili’s head instantly shooting up at the words. The Misty Mountains. Of course that would be where Fili would have gone. They were isolated and snowy, the perfect respite for someone who had always cloaked themselves in loneliness and cold.

The elf brought his wares over to the counter, leaving Kili to hop out of his way as he loaded up the items before Bombur’s watchful eye. The big dwarf counted on his fingertips, prodding at each of the elf’s selections thoughtfully.

“That’ll be forty.”

“Forty?!” the elf repeated, outraged, “No, ten!”

“Oh dear, that will never do,” Bombur told him sweetly, “See these are from our winter stock, where supply and demand have a big problem.”

“You want to talk about a supply and demand problem?” the elf retorted, “I sell ice for a living!”

He motioned out the frosted windows where Kili could see the outline of a wooden sled against the glass.

“Well, that’s a rough business to be in right now, quite unfortunate…” Kili trailed off when the elf shot him a dirty look.

“Still forty,” Bombur told him unapologetically, “But I will throw in a visit to Bombur’s sauna, hoo hoo, hello family!” the big dwarf turned to a steamy window on the other side of the trading post and waved happily through the glass at a number of young dwarves seated in the warm room.

“Ten is all I have, help me out,” the elf implored, raising hopeful eyes to Bombur’s dark ones.

The dwarf pointed to the carrots, “Ten will get you these and no more.”

Kili could feel the tension and anger radiating off of the elf and took a step back, not wanting to be caught in the middle of the feud.

“Just tell me one thing,” he asked hurriedly, “What was happening in the Misty Mountains, did it seem magical to you?”

The elf gave him a pitying look, “Yes, it did, now back up while I deal with this crook here.”

“What did you call me?” Bombur asked quietly, slowly standing up from his stool to reveal his truly intimidating stature, tall for a dwarf, immensely round, and seething with rage. Kili instantly backed up, wary of what might happen.

In one swift motion, Bombur reached over and picked the elf up, despite the height difference between them, and carried him unceremoniously out the door before throwing him headfirst into the snowy back in front of the trading post. The elf spluttered as he righted himself, sighing as a reindeer appeared next to him, nudging his hands questioningly.

“No, Arod, I didn’t get your carrots,” the elf told him regretfully, patting the creature gently. Arod looked crestfallen, turning away from his master. “But I did find us a place to sleep, and it’s free,” at those words Arod perked up again, following the elf’s pointing finger to the dilapidated barn a short distance away. Seemingly forgiving the lack of carrots, Arod followed him towards the barn and out of the cold.

* * *

 

Back inside the trading post, Bombur turned to Kili, a look of regret on his large face, “I’m sorry about this violence, I will add a quart of my favorite stew so that we’ll have good feelings? Just the clothes and the boots, yah?”

Kili turned to look at the items that the elf had left behind as a plan began to form in his mind. With a small smile, he picked up the other objects and turned back to Bombur, nodding to indicate his decision. Hopefully the elf would be just what he needed to get to see his brother once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr as legolaslover1 and follow my writing blog at theramblingbear!


	9. Decisions and Directions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to the Misty Mountains begins as Kili determinedly attempts to find his brother and bring summer back to Middle Earth.

Kili opened the door quickly, slamming it with limited regard for the dozing elf and reindeer inside the barn. The elf woke suddenly at the noise and turned his bleary blue eyes to Kili’s. The brunet started, finding himself gazing into eyes the same shade of clear blue as Fili’s. Kili shook himself, averting his gaze self-consciously before clearing his throat.

“I want you to take me up to the Misty Mountains.”

The elf’s eyes widened and he leaned forward, fixing Kili with a judgmental stare, “I don’t take people places.” He stated, before leaning back to rest his head against his reindeer’s flank.

Kili drew himself up to his full height and fixed the blond with the most regal glare he could muster, “I am Kili, Prince of the Kingdom of Erebor, and I am ordering you to help me find my brother, the King of Erebor, up in the Misty Mountains.”

“Please,” he added as an afterthought, wincing at how plaintive his own voice sounded. “Oh and I bought you these,” the brunet mumbled, throwing the pickax and other items unceremoniously onto the elf’s stomach.

“Legolas.” Came the grunt from across the barn, Kili turning confusedly to stare at the elf.

“What?”

“My name. It’s Legolas. And I suppose I have no choice now but to take you.”

“You’re rather judgmental for an elf,” Kili told him thoughtfully, starting at Legolas’s responding grunt of amusement.

“I wasn’t raised among other elves,” the blond told him bluntly, turning to fix up his pack and place the new items in amongst the old. “My parents were killed in an orc raid when I was younger.”

“I’m sorry,” Kili whispered, feeling the pang of loss once again as he thought of his uncles and their loss.

Legolas shrugged, “I don’t really remember them very much. Besides I don’t think I’m quite cut out for the typical elven quiet snobbery.”

Kili chuckled lightly before catching himself with a cough, remembering Tauriel’s kind smile and soothing touches. “Well in any case, we should get going before any more damage can be done to Middle Earth with this cold.”

The blond elf gave a curt nod before leading Kili and Arod out to his sled, the brunet taking a deep breath before stepping onto the shiny wooden surface, the thought of Fili’s sparkling blue eyes the only thing keeping him from bolting in terror. For Fili, he could do this.

* * *

The cold air whipped through Kili’s hair and stung his face as Legolas’s sled tore through the snow up towards the looming shadows of the Misty Mountains.

“Hang on, we like to go fast!” Legolas shouted at him, flashing a grin in the dwarf’s direction.

“I like fast,” Kili told him, making a show of leaning back and placing his feet on the top of the sled’s painted finish.

“Whoa, whoa! Get your feet down!” Legolas admonished, pushing Kili’s feet down from the sled and spitting on the surface to wipe away the invisible marks of Kili’s boots, “This is fresh lacquer. Seriously, were you raised in a barn?!”

“No, I was raised in a castle,” Kili muttered, folding his arms and turning away from the elf’s accusing glare.

“So tell me, what made the King go all ice-crazy?” Legolas asked, risking a glance at the pouting dwarf.

“Oh… Well it was all my fault. I got engaged and Fili freaked out because… You know… I’d only met my fiancé that day, and he said he wouldn’t bless the marriage…”

“Wait,” Legolas interrupted, blue eyes widening, “You got engaged to someone you just met?!”

“Yeah, anyway,” Kili continued, “I got mad and so he got mad and then he tried to walk away and I grabbed his glove –“

“ – Hang on..” Legolas persisted, “You mean to tell me you got engaged to someone you had just met??!!”

“Yes, pay attention,” Kili told him frutratedly, “But the thing is he wore the gloves all the time, so I just thought maybe he had a thing about dirt –“

“ – Didn’t your parents ever warn you about strangers??” Legolas asked desperately, Kili stopping long enough to inch slowly away from the elf’s side.

“Yes they did… But Tauriel is not a stranger.”

“Oh really? What’s her last name?”

“Of the Mirkwood Realm…?”

“What’s her favorite food?”

“Sandwiches.” Kili said with certainty, remembering Tauriel’s delight at the spread of food that Erebor’s servants had put together for Fili’s coronation.

“Best Friend’s Name?”

“Probably something elven…?”

“Eye color?”

“Gorgeous.”

“Foot size?”

“Foot size doesn’t matter,” Kili told him resolutely.

“Have you had a meal with her yet? What if you hate the way she eats? What if you hate how she disengages with the present?”

“Disengages with the present?” Kili asked dazedly,

“All elves do it.” Legolas responded, turning to look at Kili’s confused expression.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true love,” Kili whispered, his voice cracking as he began to second guess his decisions.

“Doesn’t sound like true love,” Legolas told him, wincing at the look of hurt on the dwarf prince’s face.

“And what are you, some sort of love expert?!” Kili exploded, rounding on Legolas with fire in his amber eyes.

“No. But I have friends who are.”

Kili looked over at the elf in disbelief, “You have friends who are love experts? I’m not buying it.”

Legolas glanced up in alarm when he saw Arod’s ears perk up in warning, the sound of howling in the distance becoming ever closer to them.

“Stop talking,” Legolas told Kili, eyes darting around the clearings for any signs of the approaching danger.

“No, no, I’d like to meet these love experts – “ Kili continued, unaware of Legolas’s worries.

“I mean it. Quiet.” Legolas whispered forcefully, placing his gloved hand over Kili’s mouth as the wool swallowed up Kili’s indignant retort.

Legolas stood in the moving sled, eyes roving over the darkened woods beside them. He could feel the tense atmosphere, almost as though the world were holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. As he turned back to Kili to warn him of what may be coming, a loud howl sounded close by the sled and the two barely had time to think before the bright eyes of the wargs were upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make the world go round! Thank you so much for reading :) <3


	10. Danger Attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wargs attack, but they aren't the only things threatening Kili and Legolas from reaching Fili's mountaintop palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shoddily written battle scene commences*

The first thing Kili was aware of was the sheer number of animals stalking their way towards the sled. Emaciated forms with mottled fur, lips pulled back in snarls and glowing eyes prowled close, no matter how desperately Legolas urged Arod forwards over the snow. The elf quickly lit a torch, brandishing it behind him in a vain effort to prevent the wargs from coming closer, though it did little to deter their tracks. Kili could feel his heart thudding in his throat with each attempt the animals made to bite down on the sled’s shiny surface. 

“What do we do?” Kili asked quietly, wincing at how fearful his voice sounded against the howling from behind them. 

“I’ve got this,” Legolas told him firmly, “You just… Don’t fall off and don’t get eaten.”

Kili’s eyes lit up in anger, “But I want to help! You can’t expect me to sit by and let you take all of them on!”

“I can and I will, Your Highness,” the elf sneered the title, turning away from Kili distractedly and shifting the reigns in his hands to more easily hold the torch. While his back was turned, Kili reached past him, pulling out the elf’s lute and gripping the instrument with a ferocity he hadn’t known he possessed. With a steadying breath and a vision of bright blue eyes in his mind, Kili summoned all of his strength and slammed the lute into the skull of the nearest warg. Legolas, who had been poised to do the same, stared at him in shock and awe as the dwarf sat back down primly, a small smirk on his face. 

Just as soon as Kili had regained his breath, the elf beside him was suddenly thrown off the sled and into the air, a warg latched onto his coat. Without thinking, Kili grabbed the torch that Legolas had lit and one of the blankets on the back of the sled, throwing it unceremoniously at the warg that had attached itself to Legolas’s back. 

“Duck!” he screamed as the blanket hit its mark, the animal backing off instantly as Legolas scrambled back into the sled by pulling on the rope hanging off the back. Kili helped heave the elf back into the sled with a demonic smile on his face, well aware of the fact that he had just proved his own point better than he could have thought.

“You almost set me on fire!” Legolas screamed as soon as he was back in his seat, turning to face the dwarf with wide eyes.

“But I didn’t,” Kili reminded him slyly, crossing his arms in defiance and smirking at the disbelieving elf. “So much for me being useless royalty, anyhow.”

“I regret saying that now…” Legolas told him quietly, quirking a small smile at the shock on Kili’s face at his apology. 

Kili opened his mouth, preparing to shoot back another quick retort, but was instantly stopped by a loud whinny from the front of the sled. Arod’s ears were flattened against his skull and from the terrified look in Legolas’s eyes, Kili knew that they hadn’t yet escaped all the terrors the road had in store for them. 

Looking ahead, he could make out a black pit of darkness before their path and Kili’s heart sank as he realized that there was no feasible way that the sled could make the jump over the gorge and land safely on the other side. From Legolas’s petrified expression, he could tell the elf had made the same deductions. Kili closed his eyes for a moment, sending a silent prayer up to any higher power that would listen, “Please,” he thought desperately, “Please just keep Fili safe… He’s so lost and so alone, and I need to be there for him, now more than ever. So please… Just keep him safe if I can’t do it myself.” 

Opening his eyes, Kili steeled his resolve, the image of Fili’s crazed eyes and sparkling tears of regret hardening his determination to find a way to his brother’s side. He could do this, for Fili. 

“Get ready to jump, Arod!” Kili screamed at the horse, rolling his eyes as Legolas’s responding, “You don’t tell him what to do, I do!” Echoed off the empty surroundings. 

Before Kili could bite back a retort, he found himself flying through the air and landing hard on Arod’s back. The dwarf turned his dagger-like gaze to the elf behind him, but found Legolas hurriedly working to unhook Arod’s harness from the sled. Kili’s eyes widened as he realized what Legolas planned to do, the brunet throwing out a desperate hand towards the blond as his scream of “Jump Arod!” Met his ears. 

Arod’s powerful hind legs pushed off of the bank and sent both him and his dwarven cargo sailing over the gorge. Kili’s heart was pounding throughout his body as he clung to the horse’s reigns, the feeling of absolute terror sweeping through him and setting every nerve in his body on fire. As soon as they touched down safely on the other side, Kili turned to find Legolas jumping out of the falling sled and flailing his arms for purchase on the snowy bank. With a plummeting heart, Kili realized he would never be able to claw his way up in the slippery snow. As quickly as he could, the prince began frantically searching through Arod’s saddle bags for anything of use, triumphantly producing an axe and rope and setting to work as he heard Legolas’s cries grow weaker and more desperate behind him. 

The elf started as an axed imbedded itself in the snow beside his head, eyes widening as he heard Kili yell at him to grab it and hold on. With a relieved smile, Legolas grasped the axe and was shocked at the young dwarf’s strength as he found himself being steadily pulled up the cliff face by Kili’s power alone. 

When he reached Kili’s location, the elf collapsed to the snowy ground, his chest heaving and his eyes tightly closed. The dwarf’s delighted smile fell as he looked over the edge of the gorge and could see the sled smoldering in flames far below. 

With a wince he turned back to the elf’s prone form, “I’ll replace your sled, and everything in it, I promise.”

Legolas groaned loudly before sitting up and flopping back down heavily when he saw the damage. 

“And…” Kili cleared his throat self-consciously, scuffling his boots in the snow and averting his eyes, “I understand if you don’t want to help me anymore.”

Swallowing his sadness down, Kili turned his back to the elf and began trudging away slowly, wiping quickly and angrily at the tears that began smarting his eyes. 

Behind him, Arod came over and nuzzled his nose against Legolas’s face. 

“But he’ll die on his own,” Legolas mumbled, switching into the deeper voice he used to hold conversations with Arod.

“I can live with that,” he murmured in his own voice, facing away from his horse.

His eyes trailed to Kili, stumbling gracelessly through the snowy banks and tripping his way down the wrong path. 

“But you won’t get your new sled if she’s dead,” Legolas retaliated in Arod’s voice as the horse nodded his head in agreement. 

Legolas sighed loudly, dropping his head with frustration born from knowing he had lost his argument, “… Sometimes I really don’t like you,” he told Arod, snorting when the horse whinnied in amusement. 

“Hold up,” the elf called out exasperatedly, holding up a hand as Kili turned in shock. “We’re coming.” Legolas stated flatly, trudging up to where Kili stood, eyes bright with unshed tears of gratitude.

“You are?” Kili asked excitedly, his voice breaking with delight, “I mean…” he caught himself and straightend up, putting on the most regal expression he could manage with a manic smile, “Sure, I’ll let you tag along.” 

Legolas shook his head in fond exasperation and gently directed Kili to the right path, Arod following closely behind as the snow continued falling all around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! So sorry for the long break from this, as I was on a lovely vacation, but now that I'm back, I'll try to get this thing done and out as soon as I can! :) Comments and kudos give me life!


	11. Warm Hugs and Childhood Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Legolas meet a new companion on the road, one who reminds Kili of memories long forgotten and renews his desire to find his brother and bring back summer to Middle Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the long wait in getting this chapter out. Unfortunately since school is starting for me soon, I can't guarantee that updates will be consistent in the coming months, but I can promise that I won't forget about this story and that the chapters will come eventually!! Thank you all for sticking with this and with me and I hope you enjoy!!

Through the screen of dense trees Kili could just make out pinpricks of bright light. As he stepped forward he swallowed the gasp that he had nearly verbalized upon seeing the sight laid out below him. Looking down the cliff face he could make out the green stones illuminated in the sunlight and the formidable faces of the carved dwarven guards shouldering a burden of heavy white snow.

“Erebor,” he whispered, staring out at his homeland submerged underneath the piles of snow and ice.

“It looks completely frozen,” Legolas remarked, coming to stand next to Kili and gazing down at the sight.

“But it’ll be fine,” Kili told him nonchalantly, trying to hide the fear that ate at him day after day, “Fili will thaw it. You’ll see.”

The dwarf prince turned away from Erebor and began trekking back towards the mountain path, his shoulders hunched against the bracing wind.

“Will he?” Legolas asked the retreating figure quietly as he gestured for Arod to follow them back through the trees. He worried for Kili, the dwarf with such a kind and open heart who trusted so blindly. He knew how much faith and hope he had placed on his brother’s willingness to help and feared that reality would come crashing down on the young prince sooner or later, and he knew that individuals held up on pedestals rarely lived up to their expectations, and reality had a cruel way of denying dreams.

 

* * *

 

Eventually the path brought Kili through a glen of frozen willows, each tree glistening with daintily elongated icicles that tinkled like chimes upon being touched.

“I never knew winter could be so beautiful,” he murmured, turning his shining eyes to Legolas who smiled amusedly down at him.

Kili reached out to bring his fingers to one of the icicles, stroking the smooth surface with a callused fingertip. In it’s glasslike sheen he could almost see his brother’s beautiful blue eyes smiling back at him and it took Kili several moments to realize that there were tears freezing on his cheeks. _Just like Fili,_ he thought glumly, _beautiful, untouchable and so far away._ As he was turning away from the tree he heard the echo of a voice, seemingly close by.

“Yeah… It really is beautiful isn’t it? But it’s so white. You know, how about a little color? Must we bleach the joy out of it all? I’m thinking something like crimson, chartreuse…”

Kili turned to Legolas, a question on his lips, but the elf looked just as shocked and bemused as Kili felt.

“How about yellow?” the voice continued, “Yellow and snow? Brrr… No go.”

Kili was vaguely aware that the voice seemed to be coming closer and whirled around to find a small snowman standing next to him, a wide smile on his white face.

“Am I right?” it asked, Kili’s eyes widening in disbelief and horror.

With a scream Kili summoned all of his strength and kicked what appeared to be the head of the creature, watching as it sailed into Legolas’s arms, the elf catching it instinctively.

“Hi!” the snowman called cheerily, smiling up at Legolas as his face contorted into one of disgust.

“You’re creepy,” Legolas told it, throwing the head back at Kili who was both embarrassed at his overreaction and amused despite himself.

“I don’t want it,” Kili huffed, throwing it back to Legolas with a smirk, daring him to toss the head back to him.

Legolas did just that with a look that Kili believed was far too smug, and they continued passing the head off as the snowman’s body chased after them, stick-arms waving in consternation.

“All right, it’s clear we got off to a bad start…” the snowman began as Kili prepared to throw the head back to Legolas. Before he could let go though, the snowman’s body ran into the dwarf’s legs, Kili instantly dropping the head in disgust as the now completed figure looked up at him in confusion.

“Wait, what am I looking at right now?” the snowman asked, turning from Kili to Legolas in obvious bewilderment, “why are you hanging off the earth like a bat?”

Kili quickly realized that in his haste to drop the snowman’s head he had inadvertently put it on upside down and bent down to right the situation.

“Oh thank you!” the snowman exclaimed, a wide smile splitting its face as it tottered around the glen in oblivious delight.

“You’re welcome,” Kili muttered, wiping the snow off his hands and watching amusedly as the snowman gazed at their surroundings and felt its newly righted head.

“Now I’m perfect,” it announced, turning back to them with a grin.

“Well, almost,” Kili replied, reaching into Arod’s satchel after being struck with an idea. He quickly located the hard-won carrots he had bought at Bombur’s trading post and held one up to the snowman as it began looking up to him. The result was the carrot ending up slammed through the snowman’s head, both ends sticking out as Kili gasped in horror.

“Oh! Too hard! I’m so sorry… Are you okay?” Kili asked desperately, turning wide eyes to Legolas, who shrugged in apology.

“Are you kidding me?” the snowman asked as it broke out in another smile, “I am wonderful! I’ve always wanted a nose!” It glanced down at the carrot, going slightly cross-eyed and causing a laugh to bubble up inside of Kili’s chest. “So cute, it’s like a little baby unicorn!”

Kili reached behind it with a chuckle and grasped the bulk of the carrot on the other side before pushing it forward and all the way into the snowy skull.

“What, hey… Whoa!” it exclaimed before looking down again, “Oh I love it even more now!” it cried, bringing it’s hands up to feel all sides of it’s new nose, “Hah… all right, let’s start this thing over.  Hi everyone. I’m Beorn, and I like warm hugs.” He turned to Kili and Legolas and opened his arms wide, as if waiting for an embrace.

“Beorn?” Kili asked in shock, visions of chilly mornings spent in grand ballrooms with Fili by his side suddenly flooding his mind. “That’s right… Beorn.”

“And you are…?” Beorn asked hesitantly, looking up at him. 

“Oh, I’m Kili.” The prince said with a blush, smiling down at the snowman and remembering the day Fili had created him and the laughter that had permeated through the ballroom.

“Uh huh…” Beorn replied distractedly, turning to Legolas and Arod, “And who’s the funky-looking donkey over there?”

“Arod.” Kili told him, smiling encouragingly at Legolas who still wore an expression of disbelief.

“Uh huh… And who’s the horse?” Beorn asked, looking up at Kili innocently. Kili stifled a smile and repeated himself. “Arod,” he said, laughing openly at the anger evident on Legolas’s face when the elf realized he was being made fun of.

“Oh okay!” Beorn said brightly, “Makes things easier for me!”

The snowman trotted over to where Arod was standing, and reached out to pet the horse’s velvety forehead. Arod bent down and immediately began trying to nibble at Beorn’s nose as the snowman remained oblivious to his intentions.

“Ha! Aw look at him trying to kiss my nose… I like you too!” Beorn told him, looking back at Kili with a radiant smile.

“Beorn…” Kili began slowly, “Did Fili build you?" 

“Yeah, why?” Beorn asked curiously, barely sparing a glance to Legolas who had moved to his side and plucked one of his arms off of his body, studying it intently.

“Do you know where he is?” Kili asked, his heart beginning to race as he thought of approaching his brother.

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you think you could show us?”

“Yeah, why?” Beorn repeated, quickly slapping Legolas in the face with his arm as the elf tried to bend it in half and turning back to Kili with wide eyes.

“Stop it Arod,” he told Legolas angrily, “I’m trying to focus here! Yeah, why?” he asked again as Kili stifled a groan.

“I’ll tell you why,” Legolas said, facing Beorn and returning his arm, “We need Fili to bring back summer.”

“Summer?” Beorn repeated, a look of wistfulness stealing across his face. “Oh I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved the idea of summer, and sun and all things hot…”

“Really?” Legolas asked in disbelief, “I’m guessing you don’t have much experience with heat?”

“Nope.” Beorn replied easily, “But sometimes I like to close my eyes and imagine what it’d be like when summer does come…”

As Kili and Legolas began walking again towards the mountain peaks, Beorn’s voice echoed around them as he continued describing the world in summer and how it appeared in his fantasies. Legolas turned to Kili with a look of horror,

“Someone’s gonna have to tell him,” he whispered, shooting furtive looks at the happy snowman, still firmly lost in his summer dreams. Kili punched the elf in the arm and raised steely eyes to Legolas’s blue ones.

“Don’t you dare.” He ground out as Legolas rubbed his arm defensively. Kili’s gaze drifted upwards as he got lost in Beorn’s wistful imaginings, _Fili, I’m coming. I promise,_ he thought desperately, willing himself to remember what and who he was fighting through the cold for.

 


	12. Moving Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel has to follow through on the duties that Kili has left behind, as the young dwarf continues to search for his brother in the snowy mountains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the long hiatus, school just totally snuck up on me! I went to see Disney on Ice's Frozen last night and it absolutely inspired me to get back into this story. The show was amazing and I HIGHLY encourage everyone to go see it! I know several of the cast members through my figure skating and it is an amazing spectacle. That being said I hope everyone enjoys the chapter!

From a distance Erebor could hardly be seen as the snow continued to pile upon every available surface. The distinctive green statutes stood somberly, laden with ice and dripping with icicles. Inside the mountain there were flurries of activity, dwarves, elves, and men alike trying to determine how to best deal with the weather. Small fires had been set up in Erebor’s cavernous main hallway and hunched-over forms huddled around them for any shred of warmth they could find. Two dwarves stood over a large pile of wood, arguing over how to preserve the priceless pieces that would be needed to keep the fires going.

“No. No. You’ve got the bark facing down. The bark needs to be face up.” The one argued, his heavily scared face turning so that his one good eye could take in the pile.

“Bark down is drier,” replied the younger dwarf, crossing his arms over his chest in a show of defiance.

“Bark up,”

“Bark down!”

“Bark up!”

Their voices echoed around the hall eerily, most people ignoring them in the better interest of focusing on their own freezing fingers and toes. Though Erebor did have frightfully active winters every year, no one had expected to need blankets and firewood in the middle of July, and Fili’s impromptu winter had caught everyone unprepared for the blizzard that would occur.

Tauriel made her way around the hall, her footsteps light and her arms laden with warm blankets and cloaks she had managed to pull from Erebor’s storage closets.

“Cloak. Does anyone need a cloak or blankets?” she asked, handing them out to the shivering arms that reached out to her.

“Erebor is awfully indebted to you, my lady,” came a gruff voice from around her waist level. She turned to see a dwarf, his bald head reflecting the light of the fires. “Dwalin, at your service,” he added, sweeping down into a low bow while keeping his eyes trained on hers. “I don’t trust elves, and never have, but it’s good to see you keeping your word. Mahal only knows that Kili needs someone trustworthy what with the life of loneliness he’s lived for all these years.”

Tauriel nodded, a slight smile lifting the corner of her mouth, “I would do whatever he asked of me to help him and his people,” she told him, bowing curtly in response. “Let me know if you or anyone else require anything of me.” She handed him the remaining cloaks and blankets and watched as he began giving them out to more of the huddled figures scattered around the halls. As the hair began to stand up on the back of her neck, she turned to find Thranduil standing before her, clad in finery that could have kept even the coldest of the dwarves warm. Her smile immediately turned ferile as he approached her.

“Tauriel, are we expected to sit here and watch as you hand away all of Erebor’s tradeable goods?” he asked, his bright blue eyes boring holes into hers.

“Prince Kili has given his orders,” she replied, drawing herself up to her full height and not breaking eye contact, “he has told me to care for his people in whatever way I can, as a truly good monarch does. He would not abandon his people in a time of need, nor would he scavenge another’s kingdom for meager gems that he lost a right to ages ago. If you are not here to assist with caring for the people of Erebor, I suggest you leave, my King,” she snarled the last two words, her twisted smile mocking, “before I have to force you to do so on my authority in my fiancé’s absence. Hannon lé.”

Thranduil’s gaze turned ice-cold as he opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sudden loud whinny of a horse that had galloped into the hall.

Tauriel hurriedly approached the animal, soothingly murmuring Elvish phrases of peace and relaxation and watched as the wild edge was soon dissipated from the horse’s movements. As she began to stroke its mane, she realized with a shock that it was the same horse that Kili had taken to go after his brother. Her heart lurched as she looked around and saw that the other dwarves had all realized the same thing in that exact moment. She turned to their expectant and worried faces and took a deep breath to steady herself.

“Prince Kili is in trouble,” she called out, her voice echoing loudly in the now silent hall, “I need volunteers to go with me to find him!”

Instantly dwarves began to crowd around her, desperate to help their young prince.

Off to the side of the swarm of activity, Thranduil pulled aside two of his guards, speaking lowly in Elvish, “Be prepared for anything, and should you encounter the King, you are to put an end to this winter and ensure the return of our precious gems. Do you understand?” the guards nodded shortly before joining the fray as Tauriel began organizing the planned route up the mountains.

* * *

The sun reflected off the deep white snow, forming an almost blinding sheet of light that made Kili’s eyes hurt the longer he looked at it. Instead he trained his eyes upward towards the mountain’s peak. He could almost feel an innate compass within him tugging him towards his brother. His gaze hardened. He would get Fili to come around and end this winter. He had to. He would never let his brother shut him out like that as long as he could help it.

Up ahead Legolas turned around to look at Kili, a questioning expression on his face.

“So how exactly are you planning to stop this winter?” he asked, walking backwards to keep his eyes on Kili as he awaited a response.

Kili shook himself to shift his thoughts away from his brother and smiled more confidently than he felt.

“I’m going to talk to my brother.”

“That’s your plan?” Legolas asked, his mouth falling open in disbelief, “My ice business is riding on you talking to your brother?!”

“Yup,” Kili responded with a small smile, kicking his feet in the snow and watching out of the corner of his eyes as the elf threw his hands up in frustration and began walking swiftly ahead.

“So you’re not at all afraid of him?” came the cry over Legolas’ shoulder.

“Why would I be?” Kili called back, images of Fili cuddling up with him at night to keep the wargs away when they were dwarflings drifting through his mind.

“Yeah, I bet Fili is the nicest, gentlest, warmest person ever,” Beorn concurred from Kili’s side. Before the dwarf could warn him, the small snowman walked straight into a horizontal icicle that jutted out from one of the nearby trees. Barely pausing in what he was saying, Beorn looked down, surprise opening up his features, “Oh look at that!” he exclaimed, reaching out to touch the ice with childish wonder, “I’ve been impaled.”

Kili’s resulting laughter helped clear his head form thoughts of his brother, though he spared one more glance to the snow-capped peak before following Legolas up the mountain.

* * *

High above, Fili sat alone in his palace, barely feeling the cold of the ice beneath him. He raised his arms out in front of him, trying to recreate the motions that had once crafted his and Kili’s childhood snowman that had moved about as though it were real. Though he didn’t regret his decision to escape from Erebor, there was a dull ache in his heart that Kili’s laughter should have filled. Desperately the young king moved his arms around, trying to shape the mouth that was so quick to smile and the head so delightedly thrown back in jubilation, but it seemed that not even his cursed powers could touch Kili’s untouchable beauty.

The young dwarf curled up dejectedly, staring out at the kingdom that was merely a dot so far below. From somewhere nearby he thought he heard the wind carry the ghost of Kili’s laugh, but he instantly dismissed it. His brother was safe with his elf down in the kingdom that should always have been his to rule. There was nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make the world go round! (And warm this author's heart!) :) <3
> 
> http://legolaslover1.tumblr.com


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